The damn food-stealer just got a mouthful from me.
And I’m not talking stolen food, either.
Today, my coworker K offered to make a Starbucks run for us. Now normally, I don’t get anything because, ever since they got rid of their Coconut Creme Frappuccinos, I’ve had no idea what to get from Starbucks.
K advised me to look online and I decided on a delicious Chai Tea Frappuccino.
Mmmmmmmmmm.
Since about seven of us ordered drinks, K called as she was on her way back so I could let her into the building/help her carry the plethora of drinks.
We climbed the stairs and stopped at the first cube to hand off drinks to two of our coworkers. K pointed out that the last one in my drink carrier was my drink.
Trying not to look and failing miserably, I saw the damn food-stealer’s eyes get really big as she eyed my drink.
I tried to turn and run but she blurted, “Freshcracker, what did YOU get?”
…
Notice she didn’t ask about anyone else’s.
“A chaiteafrapp,” I quickly said.
Without missing a beat, the damn food-stealer said, “Mmmmm can I have some?”
I saw red.
And my coworker’s probably saw red. On my face.
Finally I said, “You are ALWAYS taking my food!”
The damn food-stealer’s face went red and she attempted to shift focus to K for not including her on the drink order.
We all ignored her.
Damn, that felt good.
p.s. I am employing the slap method (Jimsmuse, not quite as radical as a fork, but I may have to work up to that) next time her bony hand comes anywhere near my food or beverage.
May 21, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Ok, listen. This makes me so mad; it’s one of my biggest pet peeves. Who does she think she is that she can get her spittle all over your stuff?! I take it you didn’t give her a sip
I bet her reaction was priceless!
I usually just tell people that I’m “really weird about germs” and would prefer not to share.
May 21, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Holy crap. Who does shit like that? She definitely needs a crack on the hand. Whhhhhhhaaaack!
May 22, 2008 at 2:49 pm
princesse: For real! I’m glad someone else shares in my hatred of this behavior. I totally didn’t give her a sip. And I made sure to slurp really loudly while drinking it. I really should use the germs excuse next time.
2lazy: The same kind of people who plan their own “going away” party when they’re just transferring downstairs [yes, she really did] and, when her new roommate brought over her cupboard goods she exclaimed “Now I have food!”
The damn food-stealer is absolutely clueless.
May 23, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Wait, so this is the same food stealer as last time? What a whore.
May 23, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Yes, Mr. Five, the very same.
Luckily, the damn food-stealer is moving downstairs to another department.
We had her going away breakfast today. That she planned for herself…
May 25, 2008 at 7:52 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…that is the best verbal-bitch-slap EVER! You are officially my office-hero!
PS: she did NOT plan a breakfast for herself…??? Crazy, crazy, crazy…
May 27, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Oh, Romi, she did. I wish I could say I was lying, but then I’d be lying.
…
Know what I mean?
Today she peeked over the top of my cube at me to say hello and, when I answered back, she started making her way around the wall to come see me.
I quickly [almost superhuman quickly] slid my bag of goldfish crackers around behind a stack of files. She never noticed.
May 30, 2008 at 12:40 am
When ya slap her grubby fingers, make sure ya got a fork in your hand as well.
Share the coffee? Pshh, could you imagine the floaters?!