The most banal messages come via Myspace -or- Free Spam!

It’s true.

Just look at the message I just got:

From: Block User joseph

Date: Jul 9, 2007 2:47 PM Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject: No Subject
Body: whats good

Yes, that is his message in its entirety.

What’s good? Hm. Let me give you a brief, non-comprehensive list:

Pizza, turtles, David Sedaris, low-carb bagels with plain cream cheese, horror movies, having lots of good ink pens, crossword puzzles, antibacterial hand gel, payday, a full tank of gas in my car, money, dr. pepper, my local dive bar….

Shall I continue?

I have no idea why people send me such lame stuff. 

Of course, I guess a two-word semi-sentence from some local kid is a LOT better than the fake “I’m looking for a soulmate” spams I get.

You know, the ones where someone creates a fake profile of some dude in South Africa or Germany, then hits control +  c, then scours Myspace for females [or just uses a bot, i dunno] then control + v’s to his heart’s content.

Like this:

From: Block User wale

Date: Jul 5, 2007 4:39 PM Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject: How is ur day going thefreshcracker*?
Body: Good day to u right overthere.How is work and ur health doing?I pressume thats the most important for me.My name is Olawale Junaid,I graduated 5 years ago in telecoms engineering.Im a man with heart full of love and passions,im young in heart and soul. im looking for everlasting love not a divorce relationship,this is what im avoiding and i just dont want to be part of this shameless people,because when i give my heart to someone i give it fully,and when i love someone, i love to the fullest,i can do anything to satisfy and make mypartner happy forever.
im a one woman man,and i need the same from my partner,im new to the online dating things and i dont know much about it. I know my kind of woman,this is why im here in search of that are someone atractive and decent,and can see u are truly serious about your desires, and im proud of that,well i like to get to know more about you, your family, and the kind of happy home you planning to build, i like to boast and proud of my woman so let me get to know more about you.
Well a best friend of mine introduced me to this site because he met his wife on here and they both went on a date, when they discovered they were made special for each other, Now they are happily married with a kid,and this is what im expecting on here. Im praying for the same to happen to me and i know it will surely happen soon.i lost my parent and the only person left for me is my granny and she really loves me and i am happy that i found someone like her in my life.
Marcia,I promised not to let u down in any situation.I can see u are kind of my choice.I will never tell u a single lie and promised to be straight forward to u,seeing u make me so comfortable of my future.Pls I wouldnt want to loose u babe,pls let me know u better.
I am a kind of person that is religion active and i am looking for a wo man that have the fear of God and been religious, Well, i am not here for a long time net love and i dont believe that someone like me would be here seeking for love if it wasnt for the late of my fiancee who died by autocrash. I am looking for some one that is ready to settle down a family and have kids… i will be glad to exchange pix with u as my pix here is really small.looking forward to hearing from you. You can write to my personal email address,I once promised again to let u know that we are equally born but different we human being were not the same.I will prove to be ur desire man.,i look forward to ur response. Yours respectfully,

* not my myspace name.

Or this:

From: Block User andrea

Date: May 26, 2007 7:59 PM Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject: hi
Body: Hello Angel,
How are u doing today?and i do hope all is cool and nice with you? Well,i must start with a brief introduction of myself,by name am known and been called Andrea and i hailed from state, my mom is from South Africa, while my dad is from the state.
I was just suffing through the net and luckily enough for me i came across those lovely and cute profile of yours with those lovely pics of yours on it and i really got inspired by all what i saw at your profile and thats why i decided to stop by and say hello to u and to see if things are goona work out fine between us.Am an Engineer working with a communication company as one of there switch engineer.Single,serching for a woman of mine….a woman to grow old with till end of my life.
Am a very jovial,loving,caring and also an outspoken guy thats here for real and serious releationship though i might be far away from u now,but i do believe that distance is not a barrier to real and true love and thats why i do have the faith that i will get to meet u someday in person.
Angel,if u know u areally intersted in getting to know me more better like i do,feel free to add me to your yahoo mesenger list cos am online right now so we get to chat or email me with this id.
Bye and i do hope to hear from u so soon.

Hm. Why do dudes always call girls “angel” via their tiresome spam?  Well, I guess it’s better than being called “angle” like a former spammer did.

Maybe the problem here is this: I am 28 years old and I have a myspace page.


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