The most banal messages come via Myspace -or- Free Spam!

It’s true.

Just look at the message I just got:

From: Block User joseph

http://www.myspace.com/jpollock213

Date: Jul 9, 2007 2:47 PM Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject: No Subject
Body: whats good

Yes, that is his message in its entirety.

What’s good? Hm. Let me give you a brief, non-comprehensive list:

Pizza, turtles, David Sedaris, low-carb bagels with plain cream cheese, horror movies, having lots of good ink pens, crossword puzzles, antibacterial hand gel, payday, a full tank of gas in my car, money, dr. pepper, my local dive bar….

Shall I continue?

I have no idea why people send me such lame stuff. 

Of course, I guess a two-word semi-sentence from some local kid is a LOT better than the fake “I’m looking for a soulmate” spams I get.

You know, the ones where someone creates a fake profile of some dude in South Africa or Germany, then hits control +  c, then scours Myspace for females [or just uses a bot, i dunno] then control + v’s to his heart’s content.

Like this:

From: Block User wale

http://www.myspace.com/waleonly4luv

Date: Jul 5, 2007 4:39 PM Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject: How is ur day going thefreshcracker*?
Body: Good day to u right overthere.How is work and ur health doing?I pressume thats the most important for me.My name is Olawale Junaid,I graduated 5 years ago in telecoms engineering.Im a man with heart full of love and passions,im young in heart and soul. im looking for everlasting love not a divorce relationship,this is what im avoiding and i just dont want to be part of this shameless people,because when i give my heart to someone i give it fully,and when i love someone, i love to the fullest,i can do anything to satisfy and make mypartner happy forever.
im a one woman man,and i need the same from my partner,im new to the online dating things and i dont know much about it. I know my kind of woman,this is why im here in search of that desire.you are someone atractive and decent,and can see u are truly serious about your desires, and im proud of that,well i like to get to know more about you, your family, and the kind of happy home you planning to build, i like to boast and proud of my woman so let me get to know more about you.
Well a best friend of mine introduced me to this site because he met his wife on here and they both went on a date, when they discovered they were made special for each other, Now they are happily married with a kid,and this is what im expecting on here. Im praying for the same to happen to me and i know it will surely happen soon.i lost my parent and the only person left for me is my granny and she really loves me and i am happy that i found someone like her in my life.
Marcia,I promised not to let u down in any situation.I can see u are kind of my choice.I will never tell u a single lie and promised to be straight forward to u,seeing u make me so comfortable of my future.Pls I wouldnt want to loose u babe,pls let me know u better.
I am a kind of person that is religion active and i am looking for a wo man that have the fear of God and been religious, Well, i am not here for a long time net love and i dont believe that someone like me would be here seeking for love if it wasnt for the late of my fiancee who died by autocrash. I am looking for some one that is ready to settle down a family and have kids… i will be glad to exchange pix with u as my pix here is really small.looking forward to hearing from you. You can write to my personal email address walej707@yahoo.com,I once promised again to let u know that we are equally born but different directed.so we human being were not the same.I will prove to be ur desire man.,i look forward to ur response. Yours respectfully,
Olawale.

* not my myspace name.

Or this:

From: Block User andrea

http://www.myspace.com/171823100

Date: May 26, 2007 7:59 PM Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject: hi
Body: Hello Angel,
How are u doing today?and i do hope all is cool and nice with you? Well,i must start with a brief introduction of myself,by name am known and been called Andrea and i hailed from state, my mom is from South Africa, while my dad is from the state.
I was just suffing through the net and luckily enough for me i came across those lovely and cute profile of yours with those lovely pics of yours on it and i really got inspired by all what i saw at your profile and thats why i decided to stop by and say hello to u and to see if things are goona work out fine between us.Am an Engineer working with a communication company as one of there switch engineer.Single,serching for a woman of mine….a woman to grow old with till end of my life.
Am a very jovial,loving,caring and also an outspoken guy thats here for real and serious releationship though i might be far away from u now,but i do believe that distance is not a barrier to real and true love and thats why i do have the faith that i will get to meet u someday in person.
Angel,if u know u areally intersted in getting to know me more better like i do,feel free to add me to your yahoo mesenger list cos am online right now so we get to chat or email me with this id.
andrea_stubb05@yahoo.com
Bye and i do hope to hear from u so soon.
Andrea………….

Hm. Why do dudes always call girls “angel” via their tiresome spam?  Well, I guess it’s better than being called “angle” like a former spammer did.

Maybe the problem here is this: I am 28 years old and I have a myspace page.

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