The clusterfuck

You know the company you’re working for is a huge pile of steaming donkey shit when you go out of town, expect to get your paycheck via direct deposit, then check your balance to find out you weren’t paid on the day you were supposed to get paid.

Or at all.


Because the head honchos at my part-time job [my full time job is not a steaming pile of donkey shit, but a veritable village of dinosaur shit and the mayor has Tourette’s*] gave the accounting/HR lady a project and she just DIDN’T DO THEY PAYROLL FOR THE 15TH.

How hard is that? We ALWAYS ALWAYS get paid on the 15th of the month and the last day of the month.


So, now I have to wait until tonight to pick up a check.

Which is the very same scenario that I purposely AVOID by having direct deposit.


To make the cluster an actual cluster, let’s add a dash of getting home at 7am from driving 3 hours and some odd minutes to find that your A/C is running, but blowing out HOT air. Yes, indeedy, it was 85 degrees in my apartment.

There went my nap before work this morning…

I got to work early [after taking the coldest shower i could stand, grabbing my makeup, and sitting out in my car with the A/C cranked to apply mascara] and noticed I needed to change my network password.

I mentioned this later to my boss, telling her I couldn’t access my work email remotely this weekend and that I was dumbfounded and she replied with, “Haha, did you think you were fired?!”

From any other boss, this may seem funny haha, but to me, coming from my bipolar boss, it was more like pukey crap crap.

This is the same boss who, two months ago, told me to write up a very detailed and comprehensive list of all I do here because she was going to ask the powers that be to give me a raise.

I inquired about said raise today [when it all began being talked about, she told me I’d know “within the month”], I was met with “You’ll probably know something in October.”

Ellipses for days.

This was also after she made it a point to tell me that a fellow coworker who just got a job in another department was making like three dollars less an hour than I do.  Even though said coworker JUST told me last week what he made.

Boss, you are a LIAR.

After a while, I get told that we have ELEVEN more things coming in that I have to accomodate. ELEVEN.

When told we don’t have room, boss gets irritated and mouthy.


I retorted that I’d already heard slack from the things we ALREADY have and I’m sure I’d hear more since many of these THINGS try to reserve space a year in advance.

Boss reminded me of our standard answer after telling me we can’t actually tell the TRUTH in this issue [wtf, seriously] then comes up with this gem: “Well, we don’t even know if we’ll have JOBS by next fall.”

Are you kidding me?  Why is our company building a brand-new building [and why have you gone to “four meetings a day” about it with the architects…] if we’re, by some impossible twist of fate, closing?

I leave work for lunch, and call both my mom AND Katie so I can bitch and moan about the raise thing.

I go to McDonald’s [food of dooooom], go through the drive-thru, then head home to eat.

And walk into a stifling hot house that has not cooled off one degree.

Thanks, landlord.  It’s been six hours and it’s in the nineties outside.

I turned my A/C unit completely off to avoid having an astronomical power bill.

Now, watch the maintenance guy call to tell me “The unit was turned off; that’s why it wasn’t cooling.”

I can pretty much bet you ten bucks this will happen.

I’ll keep you posted on the cluster.

*p.s. Our head guy at my full-time job really does have Tourette’s.


2 thoughts on “The clusterfuck

  1. abarclay12 says:

    Payroll incompetence is by far THE WORST. You should get like 100 dollars from your HR/accounting lady’s check.

  2. At LEAST 100 dollars. She bugs.

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