Once, a friend of a friend [I swear this really happened] was on a road trip and had to pee, so she stopped at a rest area.
She was happily peeing, the lone stall-dweller in the bathroom, when she hears someone loudly shuffle in and take the stall directly beside her.
The shuffler broke the one stall buffer rule. I probably would have killed her.
Anywho, FOAF looks down and sees that the shuffley feet are clad in what can only be described as “old lady shoes”.
The body attached to the shuffely feet begins putting on a digestive performance, complete with raging sound effects.
The old lady was having a massive blowout, at the expense of FOAF’s ears [and nose, I presume.]
After a few minutes of tooting, blasting, squeaking, and stinking the place up, there was a pause.
The old lady, apparently oblivious to FOAF in the stall next to her, screamed, “CORN?! When did I eat corn?!”