1. Can Kim Kardashian sleep on her back at night? Seriously. Have you SEEN the ass on this girl? Sleeping on her back must be like if I took four pillows and shoved them under my pajama pants and tried to sleep that way.
2. Why do movies that are based on books usually have about one-third the actual book content/storyline? Maybe it’s just me, but for once I’d like to see a movie based on a book that is actually a movie BASED ON THE ACTUAL CONTENT OF A BOOK IN ITS ENTIRETY. This probably stems from my annoyance that the shoestring/tying a bow bit was omitted from the movie form of The Green Mile, or the fact that the Casanova and Gentleman Caller characters in the movie form of Kiss the Girls are FAR less sinister and creepy than in the book. I WANT CREEPY, DAMMIT!
3. Why are so many grown adults obsessed with Harry Potter? Yes, I’ve mentioned this before and yes, it still bugs the hell out of me. Besides, BTSG is a rabid Harry Potter fan, which makes it all the more irritating.
4. Why is it that I only notice worms on the sidewalk as I’m entering work and either a) about to get breakfast or b) coming back from lunch with food in my hand to eat at my desk. Today, I saw worms in the shape of a capital cursive S and an ampersand. The ampersand is my favorite punctuation mark. This was not appetizing.
6. Why did Gary Coleman just come back with a bag from Arby’s [straight after the dentist, too], go to her desk, eat it, then, five minutes later, when someone sent out an email saying “Hey, there’s leftover food out here; come get some!” did she then proceed to come to the table, plate in hand, and load up on chicken marsala, garlic mashed potatoes, etc.? Homegirl is diabetic, pushing 400 pounds, and sweats like a sumo wrestler. Since she always eats this way, this may also beg the question: how has she not yet keeled over?!