The worst thing about Nightwork -or- Smiling sex offenders

You’ve heard seen me mention Nightwork a few times, but I don’t think I’ve ever really explained it.

First: I work a lot. A LOT. I have a full-time job [just got a new one where I DON’T work for a stuttering idiot with brillo hair, a moody bitch, or the mayor of Tourette’s Town; I actually LIKE my coworkers and bosses and my job in general] and then I have Nightwork.

Every week day I get up, go to my full-time job and work an eight hour day. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, I leave straight from there and head down the parkway to Nightjob.

Where I work until nine pm.

Because I have no life. Because I was stupid and had four credit cards right out of college.

Anyway, Nightwork is the source that brings me [and you] BTSG, holiday parties, and a lot of whining.

BTSG has been in rare, smiling-at-me/staring-at-me mode lately, but now I’ve discovered an even worse phenomenon: SMILING PERVERTS.

See, at Nightwork we do employment screenings, with the occasional tenant screening thrown in.

Part of my job is to research people and find out what naughty business they’ve been up to.

And that includes researching for sex offenses.

I’ve only found one or two that are actually the applicant for whom we’re looking.

But the others are far, far worse: some of them SMILE in their mugshots.

Arresting officer: “Sir, you are charged with taking indecent liberties with a minor and 3rd degree sexual exploitation of a minor.”

Dirty old man (or woman): GRIIINNNNNNN

Sometimes, the perp’s mugshot shows them tentatively smiling, like they’re not sure if they should or they’re a first-timer, or maybe they just have no idea what’s going on.

Like this guy:


Sometimes, they have a smug smile, like “My uncle is a lawyer; I’m totally getting out of this” or “I’m drunk/high right now, so I really don’t care and think this is a joke”:


But the one I hate the most, the one that makes me want to track the fucker down and go vigilante on them, is when they smile like they’ve won the lottery (or at least a five-dollar scratch-off ticket):


Ew, dude. Just… ew.

I searched forever to find a good smiley one, and this isn’t even the best one. Worst one.. whatever. But, next time I find a prime example, I’ll be sure to share it with you.


3 thoughts on “The worst thing about Nightwork -or- Smiling sex offenders

  1. thefarside says:

    Check it out! Pictures of my cousins! I’ve got to read this now…

    Ah, the old nightjob. So funny because my cousin Lehi works a nightshift, and is always complaining about the hours.

    Ew, perverts…

    Hm…. I wonder who those people in the pictures are…?

  2. These guys all have names (or at least AKAs) like John Smith or David Jones.

    I went to the National Sex Offender site [a regular source at nightwork] and entered in the most common names I could think of.

    I’m almost embarrased at how long it took me to find a good smiler.

  3. Amanda says:

    OMG..the first guy (I don’t know why I never noticed this before) looks TOTALLY like Herbert the Pervert if he wasssssssssssssssss really a person!!!! hahahawahhaha…..oh…hahahah

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