MISS Pronunciation

I’ve recently discovered that I am the QUEEN of pronouncing things incorrectly.

Luckily, I’ve only said one for real [okay, maybe two] and all the others I’ve either mispronounced in my head, or wondered out loud to people what the actual pronunciation should be.

Aficionado. Proper pronunciation: “ah-fish-ee-uhn-AH-doe“. My pronunciation: “ah-fish-ee-AHN-doe“.
This is the one I said out loud. I was young and in college and a shame to English majors everywhere.

Egregious. Proper pronunciation: “e-GREE-jus“. My pronunciation: “e-GREG-ee-ous
This one comes from an Anne Rice book that I thoroughly enjoyed, save for her overuse of this word. I kept mentally mispronouncing it and second-guessing; then I resigned myself to the use of a dictionary and found out how wrong I was.

Prosciutto. Proper pronunciation: “pruh-SHOO-toe“. My pronunciation: “pruh-SCOO-tee-oh“. This came up when cool Amanda and I were eating Italian food and I was perusing the menu aloud. This prompted much laughter when she later realized I wasn’t kidding with my pronunciation. It also prompted much singing of Phil Collins’s “Susudio”.

Ciabatta. Proper pronunciation: “cha-BAH-tuh“. My pronunciation: “see-ya-BAH-tuh“. Luckily, I asked someone before pronouncing this out loud. Of course, I had to tell Amanda about it, which made the “pro-SCOO-tee-oh” thing even better.

and one final one that is a surprise for cool Amanda: Tiramisu.

All throughout college I mentally read it as “tier-ah-ME-soo“. It wasn’t until I met a girl who pronounced it “tier-ah-muh-SOO” that I knew the correct pronunciation. Even then, it took me a while, because I was convinced she was an idiot and was saying it wrong.

My bad.

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5 thoughts on “MISS Pronunciation

  1. Amanda says:

    hahahahahaha THAT WAS TOO GOOD! How about this one? When I was reading the part about Anne Rice, I said “Annie” in my head………….even though I read her books and seem to have minor intelligence.

  2. kp says:

    actually if you’re italian who grew up with italians then you pronounce prosciutto
    prose-U-toe and you kinda roll the r.
    i say it like a white girl though.

  3. abarclay12 says:

    Ok, well this is kind of in the same ballpark. I went to get my car washed and I asked for the “Polish wax,” as in “POH-Lish” wax. I thought since there was a Sweedish massage, there’d be a polish wax. Turns out it’s “polish,” like you’d “polish a table.” I felt like a jackass, but it was still great.

  4. thegirlfromtheghetto says:

    Dear Fresh-
    You are not the only fool in American who is mispronouncing words … I do it all the time. I can never say things the right way, and I’m fond of getting metaphors wrong, last night I impressed my in-laws with my “dumb as a boat” instead of “dumb of a boot” metaphor. Ha ha!!!

  5. Fresh,

    The bruschetta bothers me too.

    So, many people pronounce it broo-SHETTA because of that damn frozen pizza.

    Broo-sketta.

    I had that beaten into my head by an Italian friend.

    But I pressed charges. Took me a week to get pepperoni out of my hair and to remove green onions embedded in my skin. I don’t EVEN wanna tell you where I found cheese.

    Best,
    LK

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