Monthly Archives: June 2010

Zelda, revisited (warning: if she still scares you shitless, don’t watch the video clip)

Anyone who has happened upon this blog has probably realized I have a “thing” about Zelda Goldman (the sister from ‘Pet Sematary’).

[See also: The scariest woman in the world and how I ALMOST got over her. (This is a long one, folks), OMG She’s everywhere!, and Zelda Zelda Zelda!]

Almost every day, I see from my stats that someone has landed here after googling “zelda”, “pet sematary” or something similar.

Many people have commented that they, too, have had horrible Zelda fears and some have also participated in self-immersion therapy to get over it.

Some have realized, KIND OF like I have, that the whole Zelda thing is kind of silly.  But don’t get me wrong: I STILL get slight heebie-jeebies when seeing her, but now I don’t run for cover and cry.

If you haven’t also done self-immersion, now’s your chance to dive right in:

Hope you enjoyed it!

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OH another one!

After a coworker said she wanted Lady Gaga to go away: “Yeah, well I wish YOU’D go away.”

I totally whispered it, but didn’t have the guts to actually say it out loud.

Dammit.

Stand up and shout! This entry is mean.

Here’s a list of things I’d LOVE to stand up and shout while at work:

“It’s ‘asterisk’, not ‘asterik’ or ‘asterix’. Geez.”

“Just because you can’t hear yourself whisper-singing doesn’t mean the rest can’t. Shut it!”

“If you’d stop complaining about how overwhelmed you are/how much work you have to do, you’d get it done a lot faster.”

“Is it really necessary to yell every time you sneeze? I bet not.”

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize the sign on the building said ‘bring all your kids and their friends to run through our office while we’re trying to work.  Every day.’ They’re cute, I get it.  But today they are loud and in large numbers.”

“You just used the word ‘like’ four times in a seven word sentence.  I counted.”

“You smell like a thrift store.  That’s not a compliment.”

“PICK UP YOUR FEET WHEN YOU WALK. ARE YOU REALLY THAT LAZY?!”