So by now you know that there are lots of things that I despise and some that even sicken me. This compendium, of course, includes worms on the sidewalk *shudder* and since my office building is surrounded by sidewalks, my short trek into work often grosses me out.
But let’s take it a step further and go INTO the building.
I know, I know, you’re thinking “Come on, you work in an OFFICE. How gross can things actually get?”
1. Fluids on file folders. (alliteration FTW) Oh yes, when working with file folders all day for TONS of patients (I don’t work in a doctor’s office, JSYK) things can get sticky. Literally. Some of the grossest office moments come when I’m innocently perusing a file, updating some important document and I see stains. Often brown, of uncertain origin, but possibly biological (I’m pretty sure I saw an actual booger the other day). Or chocolate. Either way, keep runny things away from paper!
2. Cubeland nose-blowers. Oh, yes. You’d think someone would have the presence of mind to excuse themselves if they need to expel some mucus, but noooooooooooo. Maybe I’m silly for being bothered by this, but gurgly snot sounds do NOT a pleasant working environment make. Also of note: do these people not worry about a stray string of snot dangling out there? Go to the bathroom!
3. Speaking of that inner sanctum, let’s talk toilets. More specifically what some of my coworkers often DON’T do after visiting the toilet: WASH THEIR HANDS. I don’t know how many times I’ve been innocently tinkling, only to hear someone else’s toilet flush, stall door open and then…… nothing. They walk out of the bathroom without even rinsing! I’ve nailed down at least two culprits, one of whom is this prissy woman who walks around talking very “essy” (I guess she thinks it makes her sound cultured?) and looking down her nose at people. Oh, I’m onto you, prisspot. Those hands are covered in remnants of urine and fecal matter. That sign I posted on the bathroom door that says “Please wash your hands!” with a sign of germy palms? Totally directed at you. By the way, don’t touch the copier.
4. Also bathroom related and so gross it’s unbelievable: spying blood on various surfaces. Oh yes, a travesty of this caliber occurred just this week, this time on the toilet roll itself, and I was appalled. Ladies, most of us have been dealing with “bloody issues” since we were about 12, so it’s time we got a handle on proper disposal, k? If you can’t keep it off the floor and the wall (!!), then perhaps you should go back to 4th grade health class.
No wonder I’m always catching something.