Top search engine subject that directs people to this blog:
ZELDA (and derivatives: Zelda Goldman, Zelda Pet Sematary, Zelda Pet Cemetery, etc. You get the idea.) Apparently, I am far from being the only person who has had the living piss scared out of them by her. Thanks to self-induced immersion therapy, I can now write about her and have google tell people to come read the stupid shit I write. Thank you, Stephen King.
Top instrumental song that I could listen to on repeat for hours:
“The Music Box” by Unwed Sailor.
Running a close second:
“I Can’t Remember” by Mogwai
Total hours spent in unofficial “tech support” mode for family, friends and coworkers in the past two weeks:
Roughly twelve. Mom was right: I really should’ve gone to school for computer stuff (JSYK, that was the technical term).
Number of people I regret doing the “auto-smile” thing at when rounding a corner at work:
One. Just one. And you know her as BTSG. I REALLY wish I could put auto-smile in check once in a while. Or at least that I could’ve ripped a fart (I’ve been gassy lately) in her direction to make up for accidentally being nice to her.
Top hilarious website of the past 24 hours:
The Bible, as translated into LOLCat. I can has light?
Number of times someone told me they loved me on New Year’s Eve:
About fourteen. I also got about six cheek-kisses, one check-zoober, and seven arm-holds.
Top underrated and under-listened-to band of the last five years:
The Electric Soft Parade. This may be due to the following facts: they are from the UK, they haven’t ever toured in the States (I think), and a lot of us Americans have shitty taste in music.
Most-consumed (by me) potato chips of 2007 (and I am not a big potato chips fan):
These things are fucking GOOD. And my left thumb is fucking stubby. JSYK, that is the tip of my mp3 player on the desk, not a pink vibrator.
Celebrity crush that I am most embarrassed about, even though my friend Cool Amanda agrees with me:
John Cena, pro wrestler.
Celebrity crush that I’m not horribly embarrassed about:
Worst surnames we’ve come across at nightwork:
Baskatawang and Soberanis.
I would tell you the worst FULL names, but I think that might not being staying on TASC [thorough, accurate, secure, cautious].
Worst perfume/fragrance I have EVER smelled:
Normally, I LOVE the smell of burning wood, real fireplaces, etc, but my friend Katie and I were messing around in a store and we sprayed some of this on my wrist. Two hours later, I still had a headache and felt nauseous from the smell.
It does NOT smell like a real bonfire, y’all.
Probability that I will come up with a similar list in the near future: